Wednesday, 3 March 2010

FFS

I'm sick. Bleh.

I knew something was vaguely wrong last week when I awoke to discover my vulva had swollen to enormous proportions. I just assumed whatever was wrong would go away by itself but it hasn't and now I have tonsils like golf balls, can't swallow, and my temperature is so stupidly high it feels like the perpetual drizzle of the green land is evaporating a few inches above my head.

(I'm shit at being sick. Really poor at it. It doesn't happen very often but in the last few months I seem to have had more than my fair share, which pisses me off. Possibly I am stressed, possibly my body is attempting to tell me that I'm not 18 anymore, the cop-out lightweight bastard that it is.)

So anyway, yeah, I'm still going to work through all of this because it's too busy with various things at the minute not to, but I'm pretty much coming home and collapsing into bed at the end of each day then lying there twitching until it's time to go back in; nothing feels like it's worth blogging about anyway, partly because I'm quite spaced out and partly because I can't even really speak so it's hard to get into a row.

I've finally admitted that I might need some sort of outside assistance and booked a bloody doctor's appointment, which I always feel in some way guilty about - Ferris Bueller I am not - and hopefully will feel less shit shortly.

Mainly I am pissed off about feeling absolutely bloody starving while having to live on thin soup. I am compiling a mental fantasy list of things I am going to eat once I can swallow again. It's going to be obscene and brilliant.

x

40 comments:

  1. "my vulva had swollen"

    Uvula, surely!?

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  2. Have now linked the word in question to a post that will help explain this.

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  3. I really want to write some smart reply but i cant the "vulva" topped it all lol

    Missed your posts get well soon :0))

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  4. i hope your vulva is fully operational soon, and that obscene list of ingestibles gets ticked off quickly.

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  5. This would be first on my list.
    http://baconcamp.org/Bacone

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  6. I await your food porn with antici......pation! Hope it contains lots of bacon, and pies, and bacon pies - don't let me influence your bacon *ahem* decision in any way though.
    yours,
    bacon

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  7. I have looked upon the Beauty of the Bacone, and IT SHALL BE MINE.

    I fully agree with the science regarding Bacon as explained here.

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  8. I'm hanging that on my cube wall.

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  9. Poor ickle Koala (((hugs)))

    I'm glad to read that you have made a doctors appointment (hopefully soon). Swelling in any part of your throat must never be ignored. Once you are dosed up on antibiotics and painkillers you will start to feel much better.

    Screw work, you must go home and rest!

    P.S. If it happens again, please don't leave it so long in seeing the quack.

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  10. Cheers - yeah, docs appointment is first thing in the morning so hopefully I'll be fixed up soon. Thanks!

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  11. I wish you hearty (yet thin and painless) soup and many naked angels bringing you beer. (AKA good hallucinations).

    Get well soon, SK!

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  12. steak...you know where to come...put the weight back on with manuel

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  13. *drools*

    Steak @ Chez Manuel has featured prominently in the FoodPorn imaginings actually. Soon. *rubs hands*

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  14. http://thisiswhyyourefat.com/

    maybe some of these will be good to put in your vulva after it's all better :P

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  15. Nothing worse than a sore vulva... get well soon, we need you SK! ;)

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  16. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  17. Dammit, this always happens. I just get to like a blog and then the blogger goes and dies. Tsk.

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  18. Look on the bright side: $75 to see a doctor here.

    You're lucky you're sick in Belfast.

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  19. Feel better! Being sick is the worst. Having to work while sick is even worster still. ;)

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  20. I think you mean Uvula: Vulva is something entirely different. Damn spell check eh?

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  21. Chris - yeah, a friend from out there told me that a while ago; seems a lot for a doctors appointment. Is there some sort of "national insurance" equivalent to pay on top of that as well out there?

    Hey : To clarify on the "vulva" issue; yes, I am aware of the differences between a "vulva" and an "uvula", having none of the first and one-too-many of the last; the link should help explain that I am using this in an attemptedly humorous fashion.

    Anyway hey :
    Just back from the doctors and have been told not even to think about going into work. And have been given a bit of a talking to for having been there for the past couple of days, as in "Really, are you mental?" - not in so many words, like, but that was the gist; so have been saddled up with masses of medications and told to go home. Where I now am. And now I'm going back to bed. Thank you for all ze get well wishes and so on :)

    x

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  22. My first job was at Rohlig working with one person, the boss. Not as nutty as yours but I cringed when you mention Bills of Lading and shipping to America. (I'm still IATA trained after all these years!)

    I never thought in a million years I would have done this, but your blog has inspired me to start my own. I now can write down the weird and wonderful things that float round my head.

    Many thanks and get well soon.
    http://aspadeisa.blogspot.com/

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  23. Hope you and your vulvas (you do have a double one, right?) are feeling better soon. Can you let small bits of chocolate melt in your mouth, while you wait to wolf through the chunkier options? Or is that too girly? Best, anyways

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  24. Eesh, that's not good - I've had that before. Not the boss, obviously (I'm really hoping that there aren't any more like her) but the icky disease thing.

    Get well soon - and try and enjoy time away from the Den of Insanity.

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  25. Drat, that sucks. Feel better soon!!

    (And I have to admit to a certain amount of smugness that I immediately got your vulva joke when reading the comments.)

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  26. Get well soon Koala

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  27. Belfast Barista4 March 2010 at 18:42

    Oh yes Koala and Barista both love Steaks a la Manuel- they are made of win!

    I think that should be the plan of action when El K recovers :D

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  28. Get well soon. Your 'stupid Boss' posts get me through the day with my 'stupid Colleague'. So, yes, get better for me, because it's all about me. But really, take good care.

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  29. Hey SK, late to the party again, but glad to hear you have enough crac... er "medicine" to get you through. Hope you're feeling miles better and resting up!

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  30. Only ACC bro...

    ...so maybe if you could prove it was an accident you'd get it free. ;)

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  31. so hows the Vulva today , Koala?

    Get well soon

    Z

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  32. That Bloke in the Corner5 March 2010 at 15:43

    Know exactly how you feel SK, last year was just one illness after another. All good now (apart from the constant blocked sinuses), but the quack is, I am afraid, the way to go. They do sometimes know what they are up to. Anyway, you have to get better as I want more updates on the Boss (knowing yours is more bat shit crazy than mine somehow helps). Hang in there bud.

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  33. Holy crap, the boss all on her own? I can't wait to see what horrible mess she gets herself in to while your away. Get well soon Koala

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  34. I went back into work today. Absolutely bombed out of my mind on painkillers. Totally spaced. And still did rather well. I'm still a couple of hundred times closer to reality than TB in this condition, this has now been tested and verified. She told me today she doesn't like to "take drugs" even when she gets sick.

    It was a thought I didn't voice, but... "...maybe you should"...

    I started to write a blog entry about today but my mind has gone completely blank halfway through it. And it's getting quite hard to type.

    Hugs!

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  35. It was a fucking surreal day, I can tell you that...

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  36. Hot, swollen vulva, eh? I'm fairly sure you can charge for this sort of content. I'm also fairly sure that you're a very silly koala bear for going back to work so soon. Although I'm selfish enough to hope that you come down off the drugs for long enough to finish your post.

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  37. Hope you get better soon SK. Keep up your fluids, when I say 'fluids' I don't mean alcohol. Orange juice and water my friend. :D

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  38. c'mon now fella, man up and get back til yer work....!

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  39. You can do it koala! Fluids and drugs for now then when you're all better you can take a steak to work and drive it through her----is that the correct spelling---? Maybe not--we will all be left hanging!

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  40. Being totally spaced out in work was fun for a day or so, but then it just started to get a bit scary. Fear and indeed loathing...

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