Monday, 20 July 2009

The Madness of King Boss

The door has affixed to it one of those signs that indicates the procedures that should be taken in the event of a fire, you know the sort. I must admit I've never even really noticed that it was there before, much less read the thing; it's a small building and we're not very high up so in the event of a fire I shall walk calmly outside, light a feg and consider which pub to go to; however, I noticed the sign today.

This is because a short while ago The Boss arose from her desk and made her way towards it, and then for several minutes appeared to be trying to peel it off the back of the door.

I watched from the relative safety and sanity of my desk, with a certain horrified fascination, to see what would unfold next.

The Boss gave up on her peeling off the fire procedures sign, returned to her desk and fetched notepad and pen, and returned to stand in front of the door, scribbling furiously.

I observed this in silence for some moments, before quietly alighting from my desk and making my way furtively to where she stood scribbling in front of the door, looking up occasionally at the fire escape sign. As I approached and looked over her shoulder, I could see that she appeared to be writing down what was stated upon the fire procedures sign. Perhaps she heard me; perhaps it was some deeper, animal instinct; either way, she was startled, and turned quickly around, staring like a demented rabbit caught in headlights and clutching the notepad to herself like a person trying to hide the launch codes.

Here's me : "Well?"

The Boss : "I tried to peel it off but it started to rip."

Here's me : "Yes? And why?"

The Boss : "To scan it."

Here's me, nodding in almost sympathetic fashion, like I know or understand what the hell this total fucking mentalist is up to now : "Yes. And... why?"

The Boss : "Just because."

Here's me : "Because whyyyyy??"

The Boss : "Just in case."

She has by now returned her gaze to the notepad, filled with her curling script, and is scribbling away furiously once again and refusing to make eye contact with me.

Ah, I know a thing or two at this stage, you know - enough to know I'm getting nowhere, so I just turn round and pretend this isn't happening.

There are a number of thoughts going through my head; part of me is thinking 'Holy shit, like, I'm working my bloody balls off all day while The Boss swans about copying the text from the fire procedures sign onto a notepad.'

But a deeper and perhaps much wiser part of me thinks that is mere small beer compared the greater issue; to wit, that events of this nature are becoming more obscure and bizarre and most worryingly of all more frequent, and I wonder, dear Reader, not without a chill running down my furry spine, how all of this ends.

Addendum : The Madness of King Boss continues here.

No comments:

Post a Comment