No Longer At This Address

The Boss : "Do you have that contact for Turkey?""

Here's me : "What contact for Turkey?"

The Boss : "The one I gave you."

Here's me : "What one you gave me?"

The Boss : "I gave you his e-mail address last year, you were looking for a rate."

Here's me : "Oh aye... I vaguely remember. What was his name again?"

The Boss : "Can't you just get me his e-mail address?"

Here's me : "Er.. no?"

The Boss : "It should come up when you start typing it in."

Here's me : " Do.

you.

know.

his.

name."

The Boss : "Can you not remember?"

Here's me : "NO."

The Boss : "Hassan."

I type this in to the 'To' box.

Here's me : "I have no 'Hassan' coming up."

The Boss : "Atia."

I type this in too.

Here's me : "I have no 'Atia' coming up."

The Boss : "No, Hassan Atia."

Sigh.

Here's me, entirely weary of this life : "I have no Hassan, no Atia, no Hassan Atia."

The Boss : "Do you not keep a record of your addresses?"

Here's me : "Er, yes? In the address book?"

The Boss : "Well where's your address book?"

Here's me wishing I could just disappear : "oh gawd oh gawd oh gawd in the computer where do you keep yours i'm scared to ask?"

The Boss : "I left it at home."

Here's me : "Are you telling me you keep your e-mail addresses in a book? In an actual, physical book?"

The Boss : "Yeah."

Here's me, wide-eyed : "In an actual manual, paper, handwritten book?"

The Boss : "Yeah."

Here's me gripping the edge of my desk with white knuckles like I'm riding the Big Dipper into the Abyss : "Which you write e-mail addresses off the screen into?"

The Boss : "Yeah."

Here's me probably with strands of saliva hanging from my slackening jaw : "Which you take home with you?"

The Boss : "Don't be smart with me. Your fancy one isn't much better if you can't find his e-mail address in it, is it?"

Here's me : "I CAN HARDLY FIND HIS SODDING ADDRESS IF YOU DON'T TELL ME HIS SODDING NAME."

The Boss : "Hiba. His name's Hiba."

Typing.

Found.

Here's me : "Here it is. Hiba. Right. Jesus Christ, like. I mean, fuck. Jesus. Fuck."

The Boss : "I could have found that faster myself."

Clench.

The Boss : "You need to start keeping a better record of your email addresses."

That snapping sound on the edge of your hearing, that is me.