Licence To...

Spoke to soon, didn't I?

A short while ago The Boss was messing about with the fax machine. I mean messing about, y'know, jabbing every button on the thing and suchlike. Being a kindly sort of a soul, I enquired as to whether I could help, but was told in no uncertain terms to mind my own business, and The Boss did this curious (and after all this time, I'll admit it, somewhat endearing) manoeuvre whereby she tries to hide whatever it she's doing with parts of her body. If you ever tried to stop another kid copying your work in school when you were around six years old you'll know exactly what I mean.

Anyway, I decided to just let that go, because really, life's too short, but just now a run of the mill phone call appeared to get somewhat heated.

The Boss, speaking into the phone.

"No, I won't."

"No, I've faxed it three times and I'm not going to e-mail it."

"I've darkened it, I've lightened it, and you still can't read it. I'll fax it again."

"NO I am NOT going to e-mail it."

"Because I'm not happy doing that."

"Because it's not secure."

"I just think it's not secure."

Intrigued? I was.

"I don't care how secure you say it is, I don't trust it."

She is by now visibly upset.

"I WILL NOT E-MAIL IT I DO NOT TRUST E-MAIL YOU HEAR ABOUT THESE THINGS."

and slams the phone down, then screams "FUCK!".

This is uncharacteristic for The Boss, plainly someone has really ruffled her feathers here.

Cautiously, here's me : "Uh, having problems?"

The Boss, fuming : "He wants me to e-mail my licence."

Here's me : "He who?"

The Boss : "Ford." (the Boss is in the process of buying a new car)

Here's me, sidling up to it : "Why does he want that?"

The Boss : "For the finance company."

Here's me (I am Good Cop) : "And it won't go through on fax?"

The Boss : "He says he can't read it."

Here's me : "So, uh, why don't you scan and e-mail it?"

The Boss : "It's not secure."

Here's me : "Uh, what?"

The Boss : "I wouldn't put my driving licence through on an e-mail. Sure you hear about all these things..."

Here's me (I am Bad Cop) : "But... you know if you fax it to him, that he's going to scan it in and e-mail it to the finance company?"

I'm enjoying myself a wee bit. I'm a bad Koala.

The Boss looks deeply perturbed for a few seconds, although I suspect it's more at being derailed than anything else.

The Boss : "It's our e-mail in here I don't trust."

Here's me, innocently : "Why?"

The Boss : "Because it goes through downstairs..."

I raise an eyebrow...

The Boss : "... and they.. keep..."

Oh come on come on, tell me, woman, I'm sure it's bloody brilliant.

"... hacking into our photocopier and stuff."

Deliverance.

I could probably have gotten so much more lunacy out of this conversation but to be honest I started to feel a bit sorry for the woman and decided just to let it go.