Gas Panic

Our story opens about two weeks ago, with a seemingly innocent enough beginning.

The Boss : "I can smell gas."

Here's me : "Er... I can't?"

The Boss : "I definitely can smell gas."

Here's me : "I really can't."

I'm trying to make "I really can't" come out sounding like "You've got a serious fucking problem with your brain".

Cut to about one week ago.

The Boss: "I can smell gas again."

Here's me : (I take my lighter out of pocket and flick it alight and wave it around for a second - from my point of view both possible outcomes are fine in this scenario) "No you can't."

Cut to just now.

The Boss : "I can definitely smell gas."

Here's me : "RIGHT." (walks over to bosses desk) "What the fuck is it that you're smelling, there's no gas in... hang on a sec I can smell something too, what the fuck is that?"

The Boss : "It's coming from the boiler."

Here's me : "It's not coming from the boiler. It's coming from your desk."

The Boss : "It's GAS."

Here's me : "It's NOT."

So using my amazingly well developed sense of smell (for a fella who smokes about fifty a day), I try to pin down this mysterious odour.

A short time later the mysterious gas emanation that has been troubling us for weeks has been tracked down to a mouldy orange in the bosses' desk drawer.