The Road to Hell Runs Over The Bridge To Nowhere (I Assure You)

The Boss : "How much would a trailer weigh?"

Here's me : (sigh) "What size of trailer?"

The Boss : "One big enough to load a dump truck on."

Here's me : (sigh) "What size of dump truck?"

The Boss : "Volvo, twenty-four tonne dump truck."

Here's me : "Would need to be a forty foot low-loader, probably weighs about eight tonnes, give or take."

The Boss : "Not two tonnes?"

Here's me : "No way. Six tonnes, absolute minimum. But more like eight. Maybe as much as ten."

The Boss : "I think it's only two."

Here's me : "No way. It's not possible."

The Boss : "Nothing's impossible."

This is where it gets interesting.

Here's me : "Assuredly, some things are. And this is. You couldn't make a trailer strong enough to hold twenty-four tonnes that weighed only two tonnes itself. The materials to make it from don't exist. It's impossible."

The Boss : "Nothing's impossible. Sure they're building that trans-Atlantic bridge."

You have my full attention.

Here's me : "Are they? Are they now?"

The Boss : "Yeah, it was on the news last week."

Here's me : "Amazing. Tell me more. Omit nothing."

'Rictus' is an appropriate description of my face right now.

The Boss : "They're building a bridge from the UK to the States."

Here's me : "Are they? Are they really?"

I'm sort of chuckling a little, not in a healthy way, not in a way you'd like to hear on a dark night.

The Boss : "It was on the news. From Ireland to New York or something."

OK, I can bear it no longer.

Here's me : "I assure you. 'They' are not."

The Boss : "It was on the news last week."

Here's me : "It was a wind-up or something, I assure you. They are not building a bridge across the Atlantic. Because that. would. be. impossible."

The Boss : "Nothing's impossible. Sure they built the Channel Tunnel."

Here's me : "The Channel Tunnel is about thirty miles long. The Atlantic is about four thousand miles wide. Think about it."

The Boss : "Nothing's impossible these days."

Oh, take it from me, some things surely are, I assure you.