Thursday, 21 January 2010

Exterminate! Exterminate!

The Boss : "Yaaaaaaaaaaaaawn. I'm so tired. I need to sleep. Something woke me at ten to four."

I look over and raise my eyebrow.

Here's me : "The dog?"

The Boss : "No, it slept in my room. This was downstairs. It's the mouse, it was jumping. Jumping up and down. Smashing about."

Here's me, cautiously : "Uh... big mouse, then?"

The Boss : "Must be."

19 comments:

  1. time to convince her that mice can't make much noise.. it must be rats, great big rats, which ~always~ hunt in packs of at least 6. That should keep her awake at night bwahaha

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  2. Ah-ha! Then she'd start suffering from sleep dep.
    And be more open to suggestion.
    So you could influence her more and more, putting YOU in control...
    .
    .
    ...but then that would make everything YOU're responsibility.

    Which is perhaps even more frightenning!

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  3. I swear she's reading this, and just testing you.... She CANNOT believe that mouse has been smashing about downstairs.

    I cannot believe that she sleeps with her dog. Even for Ballybackofbeyond, that's wrong...

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  4. Perhaps this is a follow up to the excellent grandfather clock tale. The mice have been raving again...

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  5. Something woke her at ten to four?

    I suspect that like most people she has her bedroom clock set a little fast, and that it was actually 3.42.

    Which means that what woke her was the text message from Nelson......

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  6. Random Punter, that cracked me up completely :)
    I fully endorse this product and/or service!

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  7. @random punter - so was it Nelson who hacked into the photocopier? Is he a black hat or a white hat?

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  8. I admire her sang-froid. If I believed that there was a huge, aggressive, violent mouse living in my house and kicking off at night, I would be really frightened.

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  9. Time to swap the office coffee for decaf >:)

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  10. But what of the forgotten letter that wasn't posted? I've been on tenterhooks. Did you both decide that the two fuck-ups cancelled each other out and quietly ignored both?

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  11. Yeah I'm with Axolotl_Smile... don't leave me hanging SK!

    PS - I agree there are eff all decent pubs in NZ, apart from one pseudo Irish bar in the city where I live. Says it all really.

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  12. crack....she must be chuff chuffing on the crack...

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  13. Fucking brilliant... sleep deprivation affects most people's sense of reality, long term it damages your ability to string thoughts and words together, or understand the world around you - maybe if she gets some though, it'll turn her normal?

    And @ Anon #2, my dog sleeps on my bed, it's actually quite normal surely?

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  14. @Chimphead "my dog sleeps on my bed, it's actually quite normal surely?"

    Nah, sorry.

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  15. The forgotten letter question is answered on the other thread - it passed without incident :)

    Manuel - I've actually voiced that very question aloud to the woman. It's hard to understand. She's one of those people who was one cup of tea each morning and that's all, doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, wouldn't take an aspirin unless her arm was hanging off... I write this through a mild morning-fog of last nights wine as I mainline coffee to get my brain to the surface... no bleedin' justice at all.

    I used to live in a house with no heating and at night my cat slept draped around my hat like a furry hat. Just sayin'.

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  16. It's not a mouse - it's these guys...

    http://blogs.warwick.ac.uk/images/ajohnstone/2005/07/15/madness_hamsters.jpg

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  17. Time to swap the office coffee for decaf >:)

    Don't be impatient! Slowly, over a period of weeks, mix the coffee with decaf until it's all decaf, then hit her with an espresso.
    Okay, this one might actually kill her. And then there would be no more blog. Hmm. Let's vote...

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