Saturday, 16 January 2010

Hickory Dickory Dock...

The Boss : "Where would I get mousetraps?"

Here's me : "Uh, dunno exactly. For the house is this?"

The Boss : "Yeah. Haven't seen them but I know they're there."

Here's me : "Been finding wee poos everywhere?"

The Boss : "Noooo....."

Here's me : "Seen one then?"

The Boss : "Noooo...."

Here's me : "How do you know you've got mice then? Things nibbled?"

The Boss : "Noooo...."

Here's me, with trepidation : "You're being strange about this..."

The Boss : "I have an old clock on the mantelpiece. The sort with a... thing... that hangs..."

Here's me : "A pendulum?"

The Boss : "Yeah. It hasn't worked for years but in the middle of the night it starts up and I can hear it banging from side to side..."

Here's me : "Uh, sure it wasn't just, I don't know, a breeze or something?"

The Boss : "No, it happens at the same time every night, about two in the morning. The pendulum starts banging off the side of the clock like crazy, just for a few minutes then stops. They must live in it."

Here's me : "Uh, like in the nursery rhyme?"

The Boss : "Yeah."

Here's me : "How long has this been going on for?"

The Boss : "A few months. Every night at two a.m."

Here's me : "How do you know it's mice?"

The Boss : "I just know."

Now is it just me or there is something not right here?


  1. Ohhhhhh. I seeeeee. She is, in fact, completely mental. I get it now. Right. You should've said.

  2. Uhm, is this possibly the kind of clock where you can set an alarm to go off at, say, 2 in the morning..?

  3. I don't know, any more. It's got to the stage where I'm sure my own sanity has at the very least a few dents in it and a flat tyre or two. I mean, I've entertained the possibility that she's right about this. Which worries me.

  4. Well, as far as I know, mice cannot tell time, so it's unlikely to be mice. Although why a clock with a pendulum would only chime at 2 I couldn't say.

    We're with you, bro.

  5. Maybe you should get her to call Most Haunted.

    Fuck it. Tell her she might be haunted. This is gold.

  6. holy crap - I'm laughing so hard I had to take off some undergarments - good deal I'm at home at the moment...

  7. Yup, that's mice.
    I once had a mouse living in my car. The car didn't work, but it still had the a thing....under the bonnet that goes brum...
    Every night at 3:34 the mice started it up, but didn't drive anywhere.

  8. She is SO fucking with you and writing about your subsequent descent into madness on her own blog somewheres. And while you have my deepest sympathies, I'd love to read it.

  9. Maybe the mice use the clock as a sort of gym or something? Or a play pen where they drop the kids off before they go to work?

  10. bwahahahaha thus proving the point that all bosses are mentalists....

  11. so you and Her Obtuseness are talking again?

  12. How does she know it's the clock in the living room, if it's 2am and she's in bed?

  13. Oh, myself and her obtuseness always end up on talking terms again. Dunno if that's good or bad.

    Chris - I suspect the mice, the clock and the pendulum all exist only inside the pit of the Boss's head. She'd have Edgar Allan Poe begging for his mummy.

  14. I also love the idea of her having her own blog talking about these things. It would be like Alice Through the Looking Glass. Opposite Land, where head fuckery is King!